When Straight People Come Into Gay Neighborhoods

Necessity may be the Mother of Invention. But it is also proving to be the Mother of Accomodation and Tolerance. See article and comments below–

Straight Guys (No, Really—They’re Straight) Are Finding A Home In Gay Sports Leagues

by Cyd Zeigler Jr.

June 17th, 2008

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Alon Hacohen had been playing football in adult leagues for years, but as guys hit their thirties, they had kids and moved to the ‘burbs. By chance, an online search for a league that played exclusively in Manhattan led Hacohen to “New York Flag Football.” A year later, he got a response—from the “New York Gay Flag Football League.”

Working in the flower industry, Hacohen, who is 36 and in a committed relationship with a girlfriend, was always comfortable around gay men, but even so . . . “I was reticent—not because it was a gay league, but I was used to a high level of play,” he recalls. “After the first pick-up game, there were guys who could really play, and I got excited.”

Hacohen was the first straight player in the league’s very first season in 2005. Now it has more than 200 members— including about a dozen straight guys who play “fag football” every season. The gay Big Apple Softball League fields some teams that are more than half straight. Estimates place the gay-bowling league at around 20 percent straight. In fact, every gay-sports league in the city probably has at least one straight player.

For the complete article go to the Village Voice.

It has been said many times that necessity is the mother of invention. It is also proving to be the mother of tolerance and accommodation. Upon reading this article, a good one, I was reminded of how this would play out just a decade or two ago,yet alone in the ancient times of lore.

More so, I thought of all the straight couples who are now moving into what are predominantly gay neighborhoods. At first it was surprising to see the appearance of strollers in such California neighborhoods as West Hollywood, in Los Angeles, and the Castro District, in San Francisco. But now it is commonplace.

Since I am a Californian I am well aware that these are not only safer neighborhoods with easy access to the markets, shops and all the other stuff we browse and buy, but these neighborhoods are well maintained. You get a lot of bang for your buck when you buy or lease housing in these neighborhoods. Small wonder straight couples are moving in with little junior. Unlike in previous years, a new generation of couples has no problem exposing young child to alternate lifestyles, namely the gay lifestyle. Most could care less and actually seem to welcome the diversity.

So on one hand you have straight athletes crossing over and playing in gay sports leagues, and here you have young couples raising their children happily in what used to be the forbidden zones. In West Hollywood in particular, you can guide your child and stroller past ever so tasteful landscaping and houses that were nicely renovated and reflective of a truly lovely environment. It seems as if there is a Pink Berry on every corner, so no child will be denied his treat.

What adds to the overall milieu are the gay couples who have for the most part adopted children, some are left over from earlier liaisons, also pushing strollers and holding hands with young toddlers as they take them shopping etc. It is also easy to find people who will work on your house, and for the most part these neighborhoods are in the city and close to employment.

So at the end of the day, if you want to live in a good neighborhood, some of the best neighborhoods are gay neighborhoods. So, hey, the necessity of finding a nurturing environment has led to tolerance and accommodation.

In a world this crazy and with all the nasty things we witness, this is truly a nice thing to see.

Same Sex Marriages May Prove a California Revenue Windfall

ARSENIO IS A FILIPINO GAY rights activist residing in San Francisco. In 2004, he married his partner in a same-sex marriage ceremony during the time San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed marriages for same-sex couples. That marriage, however, was declared null and void by the California Supreme Court on Aug. 12, 2004.

Arsenio and his partner eventually separated.

Since then, the California Supreme Court has had the chance to re-visit the issue of same-sex marriages. This month, the California Supreme Court rendered a new decision legalizing same-sex marriages. This decision will take effect on June 17, 2008.

Gay-friendly SanFo

Being a US citizen, Arsenio wants to petition a new partner, a Filipino citizen. If he will marry his Filipino citizen partner, will he be able to confer US immigration benefit by petitioning him as a spouse?

For the complete article go to Global Nation

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I have no real need to argue either the merits or the alleged dangers of same sex marriage. As more than one pundit has offered, “Gay people have the right to be just as miserable as straight people.” As for the sanctity of marriage, well, hey I am part of a background checking company. We see a lot of bad news, including all the domestic violence. And then there are the sexual offenders who we discover during preemployment screening. We see what they have been up to and how they move around to avoid detection. And more than a few are married. But I digress.

I was listening to public radio earlier this afternoon and the announcer said projections for California as a result of same sex marriages surpasses $1 Billion over the next three years. Now, even with the weak dollar and inflation, a Billion Bucks is still a nice chunk of change.

Some may argue we Californians will be selling our souls to get that million. I think it’s more like hotel rooms and catered affairs we are selling. And I’m quite sure there will be same sex excursions to our them parks, so even Disneyland will profit by the recent State Supreme Court ruling.

I’m sure that Gay people from across the United States will flock to California. Let’s face it, weather wise, it is better than getting married in Massachusetts. In California you can be reasonably sure your lovely outdoor ceremony won’t be rained out. But, yes, Massachusetts is the other state where same sex marriages are legal. Some thought the entire state would roil in the bowels of hell, but truth is the Celtics seem to be winning the Basketball Championships, so God can’t be all that upset. And even if the Celtics lose, it would be to the Lakers, who are in the other same sex state,. Pretty much a win-win in the same sex karmic scope of things.

Build it they will come. Pass it, and they will marry. So here they come. To marry. To honor the right to be just as miserable in marriage as any straight couple. So be it.

And if you are thinking of marriage, or you are dating and getting serious, straight or gay, you may want to run a background check to make sure you are not getting in deep with what may turn out to be the wrong kind of girl. Or guy. Whatever.

That Shiny Gloss on Your Lips Could Be Attracting the Sun and Not a Lover

Lip Balms and Glosses May Boost Skin Cancer Risks

Content provided by Health Day

(HealthDay News) — Shiny lip balms and glosses may attract ultraviolet rays and increase the risk of skin cancer, warns a dermatologist at Baylor University Medical Center at Dallas.

Dr. Christine Brown noted that protecting your lips from harmful sun rays is as important as using sunscreen to protect your skin. But a recent study found that less than 25 percent of Americans use some form of lip protection.

Lips are more susceptible than skin to aging from chronic sun damage and also more prone to developing serious cancers.

For the entire article go to Health Day.

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Lip gloss seems to come in and out of vogue. There are times when nothing seems more attractive on a woman than a smooth and shiny pair of lips. And then there are the cycles where either lipstick or flatter, mat tones are more in fashion.

But then there are the moments when you are getting ready to get down to some love marking business and you notice something funky protruding from the lips. You think to yourself is that a blemish of some sort or merely a food crumb that your date neglected to brush away.

So now we discover it may be some much more alarming. Something that not only ruins the aesthetic context but poses as a clear and present danger. And lip gloss may be bringing it on by attracting sun rays, which are no good. This I guess is one more contrasting article to our need for sunshine Vitamin D. but not in the mouth, I suppose.

Sun damaged lips, like sun damaged, leathery skin can ruin any budding relationship. It can transform what may have been first seen as a long term relationship into a short affair or an occasional session. Cause once you start thinking what’s this person going to look like five years from now, you can forget about making any long term romantic projections That’s how we are. We want to admit we are not. But we are.

Meanwhile, on the bottom line cancer can kill you. Cancer can at the least be debilitating psychologically and physically. And why are we are risking this horrible disease? So we can look cute. That is not a very good reason.

So cover up against the sun. You may think you look great all dark and brown with glossy, shiny lips and a very cool tan line. But when you start to look like a moldy old saddlebag you may have some regrets.

Remember, all shiny substances will attract the sun. And shiny dispositions can attract sexual predators who may think your an easy mark. So all things shiny can be dangerous, if in the wrong context. With sexual predators, you can run background checks and see if they really are who they say they are. A good background check will save you a lot of grief in the dating world. But there is no background check for disease. Only doctors and a whole lot of painful cure.

So protect those lips. And protect yourself. It’s a dangerous world out there. Even the sun is out to get you.

Sex in the City–You Better Be Careful

Over 75% of NY residents infected with genital herpes

MELBOURNE: Sex in New York just got riskier. A new study by the state government has shown that more than a quarter of the Big Apple’s adult residents are infected with the herpes virus — an incurable sexually-transmitted infection that can cause painful genital sores and can double a person’s risk for HIV.


According to CBS report, the findings have prompted a new push by health workers to encourage safe sex, with free condoms on offer.

The study, conducted by the New York Health Department, has shown that 26 per cent of New York’s residents have the virus that causes genital herpes, with national figure standing at 19%.

For the entire article go to The Times of India.

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These are some pretty daunting figures. One in four in New York has been blessed with herpes. Okay, I know, there are all forms of herpes. But one in four? You have better odds with Russian Roulette.

The funny thing is sex is one of the endeavors will you will risk those odds just to get a little satisfaction. Sure the itching, scratching, trips to the doctor, and the warnings to the new lovers may come somewhere down the line. But for that night, it’s magic. And if it isn’t magic, the sexual encounter is enough to get you through the night and maybe even into another date. And you can have sex again. If the stars are hanging right and your lover’s herpes are not in full bloom.

What a world. Once upon a time you just go some ugly syphilis disease. You would get sick, body parts would all but fall off. You would go nuts, just like Al Capone, and then you would die an ignominious death. So much for the “it’s a good day to die” proverb when you have syphilis.

So now it is herpes. One in four. That is daunting enough, but it is New York, which should be upfront in chance encounters. But think of the national average. That is 19%. What are they doing out there? What abut all this stuff about abstinence and family values? Yes, you could argue it is, after all, only twenty percent of the time, give or take. But to get to a twenty percent affliction rate, a lot more people have to be doing the dirty with some very real sexual abandon.

I guess I have to ask what races through people’s minds when they are about to do it with a stranger. Do you pause to think, hey I have a one in four to one in five change I will receive the everlasting gift of herpes after this magic event? Do you rationalize and figure, hey, at least it isn’t AIDS?

I remember back when once having the warts test. The doctor smears some clear liquid on your privates and then looks you over under an ultraviolet light. Very psychedelic. I suppose a very abstract relic of the sixties, where all you had to worry about was crabs and gonorrhea. And maybe syphilis. So there you are under the black light, helping your doctor check for the tell tale signs of warts. “What’s that?” “Nothing. Just be more careful when you shave down there.”

As Corra the background screening company we check out people for people who date. But we can’t access medical records and tell you if the person you are dating is one of the one in four. No background check can turn that up.

So, I guess to borrow from the Dirty Harry Movies, before having sex with strangers “the thing you have to ask yourself is do you feel lucky? Well, do ya?”

When Grandma Had a Job It Was More Necessity Than a Career Decision

Can Having Children Early Help Women’s Careers Later On?

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  • womencadwaladerThere’s a page-one WaPo story on young professionals in their 20s and early 30s who decide to buck demographic trends and have children. It’s the third in an ongoing series about the choices young professionals make. We posted on the last story in this series — about a third-year law student who could not decide between taking a law firm job or pursuing a non profit position or fellowship.
  • This time around, we have Erin Foley Lewis, a 28-year-old associate at Cadwalader. Foley Lewis (Wake Forest, Harvard Law) talks about how having an early start on having children might help her career. Go Demon Deacons!
  • “By the time I’m at a point in my career where I am going to be making partner, my kids are going to be old enough to be playing on their own and sleeping on their own,” said Lewis, who recently had twins. “If I had waited until 33 to have children, I’d have newborns at the time I would be up for partner.”
  • O Loyal Law Blog readers, what do you make of this? Does having kids relatively early make work/life balance easier for women to achieve later on?
  • For the entire article go to The Wall Street Journal.
I read this article with great interest. It does pose some interesting questions. My wife had her child in her early thirties so that she could best establish her career. She also derived a sense of fulfillment she may not have received had she born children earlier in life.
Since we both came from blue collar families where the children are born early, we both felt our mothers believed their lives were less realized than they may have been if they had waited. Since that was an age and a society where women, if they harbored any ambitions they usually were discrete about them. Social pressures about working were fairly intense and most husbands in that group were not all that happy about their lives being out in the work world.
Yet, what is so odd, is that both my grandmothers worked. This was not a career choice, one based on gut wrenching analysis of their career tracks and their potential. Their decision to work was based out of necessity. One was the “Ma” in the Ma and Pa store, and the other was a divorcee in an era when people often viewed divorced women with suspicion and pathos. But nevertheless, they both worked for the better part of their lives.
In fact, both of their mothers worked. One was actually a huckster in the good old days along the Eastern waterfront, and the other taught music. Again, there was no group help support groups or any encouragement. You just did it.
My one grandmother, the Ma of the Ma and Pa store, was a successful business woman. It was a fur store, at a time when custom fur coats were desirable, expensive and a long way from being socially taboo. She bore two children, my father and my uncle, and everyday went downstairs from the upstairs living quarters and presided over the business while her husband, my grandfather, oversaw the workers in the shop. Since she was most certainly alive and working during the mid to end of the last century, she was most supportive of the women’s rights movement. But she was also mildly bemused by the anguish and the unrest people displayed over the right and ability for women to join the work force. For her it was merely a fact of life. Both grandmothers were too aware of Rosie the Riveter and other working female icons to ever dream the working woman was out of place in society.
My other grandmother worked in a warehouse. She was a clerk who put in her thirty five years, saved her money and retired in relative comfort. She had one daughter, while in her twenties, my mother, and continued working with scant time off. It is doubtful whether having the child negatively impacted her career. For her it was just a job and not a career track. Her advancements were government as much by the union back then as the were by her achievements.
So I grew up taking for granted that women worked. Oddly, my own mother didn’t work during her motherhood years, but later opened her own shop and worked that for a good twenty years. It was just what you did. You had the kids when you could have them, adjusted your life and then went on with working for a living.
As the saying illustrates, “What goes around comes around.” So here we are, after the mid-century icons of the “Leave it to Beaver Mom” have gone by the wayside and the realities, once again, are necessitating both parents work to make a living. The difference is now, with child care centers and access to nannies and hired help, it is easier for a woman to have children and go on with her career. Not easy, but easier.
As the Co-Founder of Corra, a pre-employment background checking company, I encounter a great man women in the human resource departments of anything from small Mom and Pop outfits to the larger corporations. Their work and careers issue varying degrees of happiness. Most have kids, many are ambitious, and most realize above all there is a reason they have joined the work force. Not after an anguishing decision. But because they had to.