When Cosmetic Surgery is Put on Hold

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Okay, so clearly we are emerging from a period of excess with surplus of everything and no money to buy it.   We have become used to the rituals of skin, hair, and body enhancement, including everything from expensive but dubious products to laser treatments, Botox, and cosmetic surgery.   We have been waxed, primped, cut, coddled, massaged and injected.

We try to look younger, cuter, more handsome.   We have penis enhancement, hair implants, testosterone shots, and steroids.  We pull back our faces and suck the fat from our belly’s and legs.   And now we are broke, maxed out on the charge cards, out of cash, and no savings to speak of.   We are screwed.   And we are not as good as we want to look.

But across the board there have been serious reductions in the volume  of cosmetic surgery.  It is so critical, fancy doctors are offering deals.  Get a face lift and tummy tuck in a package deal.   Get your eyes done, your ass lifted; get the cellulite out of your legs.    Cosmetic surgeons are hawking their wares, almost going out into the street and forcing patients with their scapels.   It’s almost like an old Earl Scheib commercial where if you get “Diamond Gloss” or whatever they named the paint, they would remove a few nicks and dents as part of the deal.

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We will have to get over the fact we are organisms that fall victim to gravity.   No more hopes we will look like some of our  two bit idols who, truth is, in reality never look like they do after five hours of primping.    For romance, we will have to resort to charm and what looks we have.   We will have to be engaging, doing something different, instead of uttering the same-same and expecting sparks to fly.   We may be to be good at conversation; we may have to polish our sense of humor.   We will have to, heaven forbid it, learn again the meaning of irony.

So sex may not seem as much as a Chanel commercial, but it’s still sex.  Besides, Chanel isn’t advertising all that much.  Our recreational activities will look less like the ad for some tropical destination and more like people who actually sweat.   Those non-Botox injected  worry lines will reveal at least a form of intelligence.   Who but the dumbest among us isn’t worried during this economy?

But, hey, look at the bright side, you can still shave your pubes.   It’s either this or you sit cloistered inside your room, firing down ice cream and watching movies, talking to your friends and wishing for the good old days.   But remember, if the good old days were really that good, they wouldn’t have left us here.

Author: Gordon Basichis

Gordon Basichis is the Co-Founder of Corra Group, specializing in pre-employment background checks and corporate research. He has been a marketing and media executive. He is the author of the best selling Beautiful Bad Girl, The Vicki Morgan Story, a non-fiction novel that helped define exotic behavior in the late twentieth century. He has recently published The Cuban Quarter, The Blood Orange, and The Guys Who Spied for China, dealing with Chinese Espionage in the United States. He is the author of The Constant Travellers. He has been a journalist for several newspapers and is a screenwriter and producer.